As an expecting mother, one is always flooded with a wide mix of emotions. I believe that it was specifically designed that we have 9 months to sort these emotions through and process in our own time the reality and the significance of what is about to happen... anything shorter (even though my tummy is telling me something else) is simply not enough time.
There are some women that seem to have been created, destined if you will, since the beginning of time to be a mommy... everyone knows at least one of these sweet, patient, selfless, sunshine women who love and adore children, and despite what trouble the kids might cause, always seem to react to in the same consistent, calm manner that reminds one that this woman was just made for this. But for those of us who might have to get used to the idea of becoming a mother, it can sometimes feel like a struggle of completely giving up ones self and making it about baby instead... coming to terms with the fact that it is not about "me" anymore, that I cannot be selfish and do what I want when I want, like I have for the past however many years. Sometimes this tug of war of the heart can seem like a real battle.
Several years ago, I heard someone share the sweetest story that I was reminded of recently. It in many ways comes right to the point of my emotions... so I thought I would share.
Jenny's Necklace
Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl. One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at $2.50.
How she wanted that necklace, and when she asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, "Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs an awful lot of money. I'll tell you what. I'll buy you the necklace, and when we get home we can make up a list of chores that you can do to pay for the necklace. And don't forget that for your birthday Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too. "Okay?"
Jenny agreed, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her.
Jenny worked on her chores very hard every day, and sure enough, her grandma gave her a brand new dollar bill for her birthday.
Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls.
How Jenny loved those pearls. She wore them everywhere-to kindergarten, bed and when she went out with her mother to run errands.
The only time she didn't wear them was in the shower. Her mother had told her that they would turn her neck green!
Now Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his favorite chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story. One night when he finished the story, he said, "Jenny, do you love me?"
"Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you," the little girl said.
"Well, then, give me your pearls."
"Oh! Daddy, not my pearls!" Jenny said. "But you can have Rosie, my favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday. And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?"
"Oh no, darling, that's okay." Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss. "Goodnight, little one."
A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story, "Do you love me?"
"Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you."
"Well, then, give me your pearls."
"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls! But you can have Ribbons, my toy horse. Do you remember her? She's my favorite. Her hair is so soft, and you can play with it and braid it and everything. You can have Ribbons if you want her, Daddy," the little girl said to her father.
"No, that's okay," her father said and brushed her cheek again with a kiss. "God bless you, little one. Sweet dreams."
Several days later, when Jenny's father came in to read her a story, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling. "Here, Daddy," she said, and held out her hand. She opened it and her beloved pearl necklace was inside. She let it slip into her father's hand.
With one hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled out of his pocket a blue velvet box.
Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls. He had had them all along. He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing.
So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so he can give us beautiful treasure.
But for our little Ben-Jacob, this has been a busy week for him too... he got his belly button, went on his first walk, first shopping trip, first time meeting both sets of grandparents, and let's not forget his first bath!
Slowly, little by little, I am starting to feel like I am able to accomplish more each day... but be patient with me, it could take a while. This too, is after all my first time around.
But for our little Ben-Jacob, this has been a busy week for him too... he got his belly button, went on his first walk, first shopping trip, first time meeting both sets of grandparents, and let's not forget his first bath!
Slowly, little by little, I am starting to feel like I am able to accomplish more each day... but be patient with me, it could take a while. This too, is after all my first time around.
