Have you
ever had one of those years, where you inwardly say to yourself… oh, it just
feels like Christmas? What is it that gives us that it’s” the most wonderful
time of the year” feeling?... the decorations, the hustling and bustling, the favorite
music carols heard everywhere, the delicious high-calorie comfort foods, a dimly
lit room lightened by the soft flicker of candles, spicy smells floating
through the house, maybe even snow in your part of the world?
I would
have to admit that for the past several years, I’ve spent a good deal of time
inwardly pondering once the grey winter months arrive, what makes me feel or
not feel like it is Christmas. Having lived in a foreign country for the past
eight years, my challenge has been to create that Christmas feeling while the
one element that makes me “feel” like it is Christmas is missing… my family.
This year
will be the very first year that my husband and I have had a Christmas tree
together… funny that the 8th year means “new beginnings”. Each year
I’ve wanted a tree, but because of travel plans, whether to my parents or his,
or sticky finger children that leaves only one option to set up a tree inside the
playpen instead of outside of it, we’ve somehow never managed it. But this year
we did manage … a little later than I had hoped, but accomplished nonetheless.
It was essentially the first tree that we stumbled on, and a fine tree it is.
Despite the kids excitement, I felt a certain melancholy mood as I
was decorating the tree. This
year has been full… full of good, full of busy, full of loss, full of change, just plain full.
Somehow unpacking
my ornaments was a pure delight because it seemed as if each one was a surprise…
“oh, I remember you” having been packed away all these years. With those
memories, I thought about my family a lot. I thought about those that are
mourning a much beloved friend that I lost just a few short months ago to
cancer, and how this year will be about survival and just getting through for them, and not about “Merry and Bright”. While other friends that are
mourning the loss of “what if” … and it makes me very grateful.
This year
during the Advent season we have been sharing each day what we are grateful
for, and even my oldest has joined in. Of course, in keeping with kids say the
darndest things, he has not disappointed, but I love the fact that he is
learning to search out even the little things that he appreciates. Perhaps it
is an attitude that should not be limited to just a day, or even just a season.
So, despite the fact that the most important people in my life are missing this
year, the truth of it is that my life is full of abundance.
Wishing you the
brightest this year for Christmas!
